this is what happened the very first morning that i woke up on my own with both kids: bryn woke up early, and i was doing my best to get emerson and myself some more sleep. bryn played quietly on her own for awhile and, by then, emerson was awake and ready for his first breakfast. so i started nursing him and, to keep bryn occupied, i let her play with my wedding band and engagement ring. she does this from time to time - putting them on me, putting them on herself, putting them in her mouth - and i always keep her close to make sure she doesn't deposit them somewhere i don't know about. this time, she was on the bed next to me, so i figured i didn't need to watch her quite as closely. five minutes later, i ask bryn, "where's mommy's ring?" she produces the engagement ring, but not the band. so i ask again, and she says nothing. this is unusual because, "i don't know" is one of her favorite things to say. i ask a few more times, and still nothing. but, this is a very small delicate ring, so i figure it is probably just lost in the sheets somewhere.
when adam gets home, i have him tear apart the bed, but there is no ring to be found. now i remember that bryn was laying down while playing with my ring and OH-MY-GOD-SHE-SWALLOWED-IT!! i tell my mom (yes, my parents were still in town, so i wasn't even really on my own), and she keeps trying to make me feel better, saying things like, "no, i've seen bryn spit out orange seeds, she wouldn't have swallowed your ring." maybe... so we search the carpet (a shaggy frieze) under the bed too, but still nothing. and, sure enough, eight hours and two poopy diapers later, there it is, still shiny.
never, ever let your guard down.
and, no, this is not an april fool's joke. i am really this irresponsible.